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Sometimes you can't win

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kath

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So I have just been unfriended by my niece in face book,

and I get a pertty upset call from my brother, who is siding with his daughter.

Lets back up 12 hours

I use face book to connect with people who are interested in my book, and my family. Upon occasion post from my family show up on my page, which is cool.

except that my niece has a friend, who is way too old for her age.

She uploaded a photo of herself, and my niece, and tagged it that they were *young and fresh* and OH baby do you want to do him, yeah, I do, then do it.

and the chat went on... each post getting a bit more risque.

I had to blink a few times, and I finally asked a friend if she could see it, and she said yes, and that if it was her daughter, what she would do,

she would get the power cord taken from her.

In hindsite, I should have waited a day, and called my brother not on his birthday, but, being an aunt, I sent them both the same message that everyone was seeing what they were writing and it wasnt appropriate to be posting that they were *young and fresh* etc to both of them.

In hindsite, that is, because it gave the girls a chance to remove it from their sites, block me, and then the one went to her mother omg a stranger is saying inappropriate things to me.

my ex sis in law was called, and both parents went over the face book page and didnt see the items in question because the girls took them down.

I was blocked for a while, and went in under one of my alts to see the activitys,and one by one, the posts were removed.

this morning, i get a call from my brother who is *siding with his daughter* because his wife didnt find anything wrong on the page.

and he didnt understand exactly how my friends could be seeing my nieces posts, and he wanted me to change my settings so that it wouldnt happen.

I was *getting a second chance* and told not to contact any of her friends, etc.

Mind you, its sad to see that shes learned to lie, (like her mother) My niece knows, the truth, and I'm not some crazy lady. (well sometimes)

The thing was, she had *everything* about where she lived, and what school she went to, and that there are pedophiles in the area. sigh

So, the good that came from it is she probably hates my guts, and that when I see her next I am going to look her in the eye and say I know what you did. It might slow her down for a bit, I don't know.

But I have my nephew who is going to keep an eye on her. you see, I'd gone to him after she blocked me and told him the events, and he said he would keep an eye on her. he is her age, and, pretty smart when it comes to right, and wrong, (though he is intersted in *women*) Should she step out of line again, he can give the heads up, but I think her mom may be watching the face book page a bit closer.

the other thing too, I guess the word went out that people outside their friends group can see the posts, and that they have set their accounts so that no one cn see them except their friends.

I can't win on this one. There are no winners, no loosers,

just children in danger.

kath

note , I got a second call from my brother. Seems he actually listened to what I had said, went back to his daughter and told her, look, your aunt sent you that because of a posted photo. my niece denyed even having seen the photo and he was able to tell her, the only way that she (me) could have seen it was by you responding to it and it all showed up on her page.and her friends saw it too..." so that pretty well trapped her

Its going to take a while before she accepts what she was doing was wrong. she is at *that age* where kids just don't think. He had heard me say, :I feel like the bad guy here, but I am concerned for her saftey.

On the plus side, my nephew who is a few months older than her, is going to keep an eye out on her. In a way, he is a perfect choice, he is a peer, he knows what boys think, and he can tell her. "Look, you dont want to be saying that because the boys are saying.. this.

So I had a word with my friend Tony who was home with his 6 yr old (snow day) She is already showing a willful presence, and the suggestion I had was "power cords"- kid steps out of line, take away the power cord to their toy, when the battery runs down, they will go to their parents looking for it, and realize , pop is in charge.


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Sorry to hear this happened, I think you did the right thing for the right reasons though. Dealing with teenagers is never easy, is it? They always know best and yet they still need protecting. :oneeyedwinK

Thinking about it, its pity you never took a screen capture before she changed the page....

Handy Tip, you may already know... If you don't have dedicated software to do screen captures like Snagit, or have Windows Vista or Windows 7 which has a Snip tool built in (same thing), you can use a free service like Jing or simply press the Print Screen key, which actually doesn't print your screen to a printer, instead it takes a copy of your screen and puts it in your Windows clipboard all ready for you to paste into an e-mail, Paint etc.

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I tried the screen capture thing, and at one time when I had Frapps I could do it. Since then my computer has had some parts replaced and it wiped out frapps, and its preventing me from doing screen captures. The whole "Giving you a second chance" thing seems to have blown by my niece, because she hasn't befriended me, and I'm not sending her a friends request. As my husband said, what you put on the web is there forever. The only positive thing my brother agreed to was not to let the rest of the family in on this.(including my mother who would have had a spaz) My niece has no respect for her father, or anyone, and her mother had her for all the wrong reasons. Cripes, IMHO my niece is the perfect daytime drama character. The divorce was long and bitter between my brother and his wife and his wife has lived out of take out containers and restaraunts. Nothing is good enough for her, and shes never taken to disiplining her child.

even with the screen capture, her mother would be in a part of denyal. I am, as a writer, prone to using relatives for my characters (write about what you know i guess?) but its part of them reading it and recognizing themselves in the characters...

So I've found that my husbands family is on face book, and, as weird as they are, are friendly at least, and want to know me better. *yes, they *are* weird*- don't ask!!

ah well,

life continues.

thanks,

kath

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