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Sometimes, you can't win...

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kath

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Well, work has been interesting. So far, I'm not making enough in one pay to cover the morgage, and it's been a scramble after more cancer surgery, and work has been- weird. Nothing really settled in everything- still alot of cat fights and scrambling to be top dog by the others. I said to my boss. "have you ever heard of me getting into a fight with ANYONE here?"

and he said no. Good to remember that because my evaluation is coming up next week, and I know that no matter how hard I've worked, I still won't get a raise.

So I look to do that I can, and help where I can, and one of the things was a virtual fund raiser for a website that I go on, and things were going great until one of the members pokes his nose into what another person and I were doing and started questioning my competince, and I have had run ins with this idiot before. He hates me, hates women, women should be locked and loaded behind the door. Seen and not heard and heaven help a woman that has more education than him. For the life of me I believe that he only shuts up when he knows the woman could finantially help him.

I knew the moment he started butting in, there would be trouble, and with out going into details he mis repeated what was said to stir up trouble, and I get a call from one of the officers of the group, and I get yelled at for what had been said an no, he didn't listen to what really happened, and never bothered to check with others and when I think all of that gets taken care of the girl that I was working with gets yelled at and she comes flying at me, freaking out because they freaked her out and Im like, I am sorry this happened, and I packed up my stuff and just handed over copies of everything I had to another person and said "I have my life to deal with, heres everything, sorry I can't do more."

and then I send a terse letter to the group officer who screamed at me, that I was upset over how she was treated and his answer was to boot me out of the organization and hadn't spoke to me about anything since then.

But I find out that while no one was speaking to me about it, they were speaking to eachother about it and I hear from the grape vine. whats been going down, and it seems that the officer of the group had posted on the group forum a small snippet of what was said, not everything and justified what he did saying I was a rude child that overturned the chess board if I didn't win-

and it gets - strange after that. I manage to pass on all the communications that were involved (with permission from the young girl involved) and now they are beginning to see the light.

But you can't make an omlette unless you crack some eggs. The girl that I had gone to her defense has since informed me she no longer wishes to be my friend. (blinks) Note I hadn't said anything to her since it all began, and I am at a quandry over what to say, or how to find out what was said to make her that upset.

Sometimes you can't win. Sometimes- it's just not worth it.

In a way, I didn't do anything wrong. Really. I made decisions on my own behalf, and I made decisions to ensure that needs would be met.

In the mean time- I can't stop people from what they think, or say or do- and I can't hold on to every hand, or smooth over every brused ego.

I think, if I was a petty person, I could be very vindictive in an answer to this young lady. I gave up- alot- to keep the peace, and friendship. her backside is probaby smarting because of what she said over the matter- (even though it was made that I was the bad guy) I don't know what her motive was. I know, that things could have been better and people are upset because they weren't there to step in when everything was going down.

Not their fault.

Maybe- I have peace in a way- that - If I am going to get screwed over, that this young lady is going to get few smacks to her backside for what she was saying all along.

I asked her why. She said, that our paths were different and she couldnt be friends with me.

told her that when we last spoke, we were friends, and I wished her well. told her goodby.

Maybe, it's a lesson I needed to learn again. never let someone get close to you. never make friends, just have people whom you work with because people - people are fickle and weird and some don't deserve the support that you've given them because it only bites you in the backside.

Sometimes- you do take the chance, you do- live for the time that you can make the difference in some ones life.

but for today, I have said goodby,

and in a way, i really wanted to get snarky- but I knew the best way to handle anything that any one had said about me was to rise above it

Snarky can come later.


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