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Raven Wolf

In Memorium
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Posts posted by Raven Wolf

  1. Thanks, Libby. Trust me, you'd certainly have a lively conversation if you did! (and thanks for the compliment....that's just how happy he makes me!)

    I'm going to see him again tomarrow. I only have $6 left to my name, and he hasn't eaten in 2 days. I don't know what else to do at this point.

  2. Oh...there's one of those weird "synchronicities"! Chris has often spoken of Viktor and "Man's Search for Meaning", and has urged me to read it, if I can ever get a copy of it.

    Thank you. I'm not religious either, but I am spiritual, as you said. But, as Frank once said "I fear my own faith has been lacking, of late". I went so far on simple faith, and believed it all to be true, and then to watch everything crash to dust, after all the progress that has been made in both of our lives..... Yeah, I'm very hurt and angry and feel betrayed.

  3. Thanks, Darlene. I appreciate you caring.

    I don't want to get into a religious discussion here. It wouldn't help anyway. And, yes, your assessment of them being sad, not bad, people is correct. The problem is, I've felt sorry for them for most of my life, and have tolerated things I never should have. It's taken this nightmare with Chris to open my eyes to the truth...... That you can't help someone who doesn't want it. She acts like she does, but will sabotage any effort to make things better, for herself, or for me. And, then turn around and tell me I have a bad attitude and "never have been able to listen to anyone". Funny thing is.... I've been listening to everyone but myself my whole life. I know she's jealous of me. I have for years. That's why I've always held myself back. It's funny that Chris brought art into my life, and helped me discover my hidden talent. I've been interested in art for many years (which you can probably tell from some of the forums I created, the pictures I've taken over the years, my writing, etc. Yet..... I refused to ever pursue trying to learn to paint or draw. People even recommended I read "The Artist's Way". by Julia Cameron, but I resisted, saying "I can't draw! I'm not an artist. Chris broke through all those layers of fear and denial, and made me what I am. And, you know WHY I was so resistant all those years?? Because my mother always wanted to be an artist, and even tried to learn to paint (using stincils, and making "floor canvases") back in the 80's! Yes, I've done the classic thing of holding myself back, and being meek, to not overshadow my ,mother and make her feel bad! And what has it gotten me? Severely creativly repressed........amgry......sad......and standing by while my best friend is kicked out onto the street.

    I'm sorry everybody. This is why I havn't been around much. It's hard to talk about a tv show when your world is falling apart. I'm turning to you guys, because you've always been faithful friends.

    Let me check on the phone thing. I've been told they have nationwide free long distance here, but then the next thing I know, she's saying she thinks it just coveres this state. The last thing I need to be doing is running up the phone bill.

    I'll be back tomarrow.


    Again...thanks for trying to help...both of you. And thanks for the kind words. I havn't been feeling very pretty dark for a while now. But, Chris' eyes could light up the night sky.........

  4. Wow.... Libby.... You are certainly my angel.

    I've bookmarked the "Daughters" website to read later, when she doesn't keep walking though the room, trying to strike up conversation. And, I don't think you're going overboard on this. The strange thing is...... I never fully grasped how twisted the whole scene is here with these people who are supposedly my "parents" (don't get me started on my father....lol), until now. I spent most of my life feeling SORRY for my mother, who seemed a kind, shy person who got a really bad deal in life. But now...after how Chris has opened my eyes, the abuse is just so obvious I can't believe I never noticed it before. Some of you may remember me mentioning a guy named Nicholas, who was my first true boyfriend, from back in high school. He's actually a lot like Chris, and she managed to drive a wedge between us that kept us apart for almost 20 years. I will NOT allow her to rob me of anyone else. And....wow...it's weird to read from someone so pure of heart as you, actually advocating deception and manipulation. I think that's part of my problem. I've always tried to take the "high ground". Hell, on Thursday, she pissed me off and I made a really smart a** response, then came back to her before I left to see Chris, and appologized for being rude. That's when I got the 20 minute lecture on how he's lieing about living in a tree, he's dangerous, he'll kill us all...blablabla.... She even had the gall to compare him to my best friend Laury's husband, who murdered her and their children! I just quietly let her finish, and left. So.... The thought of using the same tactics is devilishly tempting. I've actually thought about it, but hesitated, because I hate to stoop to her level. It's a good idea, though, and I think I'll try it. I've tried telling her good things about Chris, or to evoke some guilt about him being homeless, and all it's gotten is creating more yelling, so I've stopped talking about him at all. I guess I was afraid if I didn't at least TRY to fight for him, #1 she'd think what she'd done was ok, and #2 Chris would feel I'd abandoned him, for not fighting for him. I mentioned that the other day, and he said no....that he'd never think that. Oh, and I tried the lies about where I'm going, but since I hardly ever go out anywhere, the moment I said Terry and I were going to Athens, she KNEW it was about Chris, and then yelled at me for lieing to her, saying I was underhanded and deceptive, and that Chris had "warped" me. I do have a VALID excuse to go Monday, though, because I have a meeting with someone about an art project. I'm desperate for any way to make money right now.

    Your ideas are wonderful, and I'll be meditating on them/journaling about them this evening. Chris manages to get to the local library sometimes, and there he has public access to the internet, so we've been able to talk. Today was BAD, and he is borderline suicideal. It doesn't help that he's bi-polar. (which is one of the excuses mom had to flip her lid) I think I calmed him down, and we'll see each other on Monday.

    Thank you so much for your generous nature. (sorry for the spelling. typing fast before she comes back in here again)

    And, thank you even MORE for the kind compliment about the photo!!! Wow, that made my day! Chris has been trying for years to get me to have a better self image. I am always the one thinking he's the beautiful one of the 2 of us.

    Thank you, and I'll be back soon. Sorry I have not been as much help here as I wanted to be. I was just getting my feet wet here again, when everything went to hell.

  5. I've mentioned some of the rather unfortunite incodents that ended in me loosing my home, and subsiquently being back in with my parents, and (thankfully) back here at TIWWA.

    The thing is...... Things are far worse than I've let on. I'm sorry for sharing personal tragedies online, but the people here are some of my most trusted friends, and this is now a cry of desperation in the dark.

    Yes, we were foreclosed on earlier this year.....Yes, I tried to save the house, by making phone calls to the REO department, and it seemed I was having some success, when Terry got himself arrested for a traffic violation, which cosed him to loose his job, and I had to give up on trying to save the house. We started moving back in, in early April. Some of you know about my close friend Chris, who's the one who taught me to paint, who'd also been living with us since 2008. Well, Chris managed to piss off my mother (NOT hard to do), and in less than a week, she demanded that he get out. He had nowhere to go, and has been homeless in the city of Athens, Georgia since April 13th. He's already been arrested for being homeless once. They can call it "criminal trespass" all they want, but to arrest a guy for sleeping in a tree behind a library is STILL arresting someone for being homeless. This is killing both of us. And, all my mother can do is scream obsenities at me if Chris is brought up in any context, and act like nothing is wrong the rest of the time. By the way..... She never wanted me to have that house to begin with, and had been trying to get me to move out and move back in with her from the beginning. She is a co-dependant nightmare. (sorry for being so graphic, but I probably should be in theropy) She threw a fit yesterday, when I let her know I was going to Athens to take him some more of his clothes in a new backpack (someone ransaked his hideout and stole what little he had), and take him to dinner and to see Pirates of the Caribbean 4. She swears to me that Chris is dangerous, and that he's lieing about being in a tree, and is just trying to evoke sympothy, and he'll end up killing us all! Now....some of you may know that I'm a fairly good "armchair profiler". Chris is a danger to no one. In fact, our relationship is a bit more deep than I really think I should be sharing here, as I've already shared too much.

    Chris is an artist, and a writer. I've talked about you guys so much (he really likes Millennium, and had never seen it before meeting me), that he asked me to see if anyone here had any kind of connections to book publishing. He showed me a general outline for a book he's working on, and I swear it's the best thing he's ever written. We're desperate for a way to earn money. Terry's been out of work since near the end of 2009. (steady work. he had a job that lasted a few days before getting arrested, so he's only worked a tiny bit in almost a year and a half.) Our relationship has been turbulent for years. I can't GET a job, and have applied for disability. (but as many of you know, that takes years) Chris keeps applying at restarant after restarant (he's a cook), but who's gonna hire a homeless guy?

    I hate to bring my troubles here. Yet, the last time I did, a very kind member of this group helped us out in a way that made a huge difference, right about the time Terry lost his job in 2009. Things are far worse now than they were then. If anyone can offer any help, insight, prayer, anything at all...... Something that'll give me a reason to get out of bed in the morning (because the reason I used to have is now sleeping in a tree), I would be forever greatful. Chris has changed my life in ways I can't begin to express. He brought art to me. He has walked with me down the road of life in a way that has allowed me to grow as a person, and shed the feelings of "devine obligation" that used to govern my thoughts and decisions. He set me free..... And I was happier from November of 2008 to April of 2011 than I have ever been in my life. I've lost my home, my closest friend, and any hope for my life. Each day is filled with anger and drama, deception and manipulation, and me trying to hide my tears at being seperated from someone who made my life complete.029.jpg


  6. facebook.com/calixar

    Thanks. If I did it right, I just added you.

    Technically I don't have a clue how to go about adding anyone unless I'm on FB and add them as a friend. Not sure what to give you. I am on FB, but not often since I'm not a big fan and honestly don't have the time. I see Josef, Vivi, Anthony, and a couple others there, but can't remember who they are without going there. I just hope everyone doesn't eventually spend all of their time at FB and then we see less and less of them here. Don't mean to be grumpy, just miss people when they aren't here. I prefer this community. :wub:

    I understand. I'm mainly asking for the reason Libby states below.....

    But having said that (there's always a "but"), there have been a few occasions when TIWWA has gone off the air, and there doesn't seem a reliable alternative means of getting that info out to our regular members. I don't think Facebook would be helpful in that if most members don't have Facebook accounts or don't wish to share that, but I could set up an email mailing list to pass on that info to anyone who wanted to PM me with their details.

    That's actually the main reason I was asking. I have a couple of friends online who are not members here (I KNOW...."Perish the thought!" :censored: ), and I thought it'd (#1 Be nice to have more than 3 people on my friends list, and #2 Have a place/network for times when TIWWA is down. I know Scott (Selfosophy Psycho) and I set up a Yahoo group for times like that years ago, but now he's all married and gone off to England and happy and sh*t... :tongue: ...... (By the way, Scott's one of the 3 people on my friends list that I actually KNOW. The others are like those drifters that just want to ad you, and so you do, and you end up either liking them, or trying frantically to find a way to block them, while desperatly going back through any correspondance to make sure you didn't give out any personal information....) Am I rambling??? :smokin:

    Anyway........... Click Here. :rock2:

    • Like 1
  7. I know that some people here have to be on Facebook, too. I'd love to ad you, but the site makes it tricky. You have to ad people via their email address, if I understand it correctly. So far, I've only got a few friends on there. Tim (Profrock from here at TIWWA, Chris, and one or two others I managed to ad with my yahoo email account. If anyone here is on there, please let me know how to find you, or look for me! Please?:confused:

  8. Thanks for the reply! I know this is FAR from being "Millenniumistic", but I've been far too 'dark' lately, and a little Depp is just what the doctor ordered! In fact, Terry and I managed to scrape together enough money to go see the 4th Pirates, today! Wow! What a ride!

    • Like 1
  9. Well, the rest of my life may be falling apart, but life (especially eternal life) goes on in the entertainment industry, and I am tickled PINK that 2 of my tv/movie favorites have been married together to create something that's bound to be a HOOT!

    Johnny Depp, most widely known for his portrayal of Captian Jack Sparrow, will bring the roll of beloved vampire Barbabas Collins to life next year. I'd heard about this months ago, but today I found this wonderful article. I recognize so many names of what's become the "Depp" team, including Tim Burton, Helena Bonham Carter, and music by Danny Elfman.

    You can read the article here.

    Wow.....this is sure to be quite a ride!

    • Like 1
  10. The newspaper article has now vanished, since it's been a week from when that was published, so I'm trying to hunt down piectures and bits of the story to post here.

    The photo of the Guidestones, after this little stunt, can be found by clicking here.

    I found this paragraph on another message board, which someone had cut/pasted from the neo site.

    Interacting parts create non-reducible emergent properties at an higher level

    The Universe comprises many equally valuable emergent levels

    Many alternative evolutionary options exist at each level

    Options have fitness implications within their own level and also to those higher and lower

    Science can help us evaluate and choose the option giving best overall fitness

    Human fitness relates holistically to physical, psychological and abstract levels

    Our overall fitness comprises the totality of our values in relation to the Universe

    The sum of our relational values comprises our Quality of Life - our current fitness

    For maximum fitness we must balance our sensual, emotional and intellectual needs

    Balance needs a parallel (intuitive) mode of thought and not a serial (intellectual) mode.

    Individuals are intimately inter-connected with both nature and spirit - all is one

    Intuition integrates our multidimensional relations into alternative overall fitnesses

    Our future evolution depends upon our choice between these alternatives

    Morality relates to whether our evolutionary path is positive-sum or negative-sum overall

    Holistic intuitive ability needs educational development as much as does intellect

    Enlightened self-actualization must include an intuitive personal growth path

    Growth means transcending animal behaviour and embracing all the levels of our Universe

    Maximum fitness is achieved when measured and chosen holarchically

    And I found a facebook page, which tells a little more.....

    The Third Millennium Society


    Non-Profit Organization

    Basic Information


    March 3, 1992


    We are the new generation. A generation with a voice, a generation with a vision and a generation with a cause!

    Company Overview

    Fausto & Artento Divini (NL)

    Dock 45 (NL)

    Coone & Isaac (BE/NL)

    Stephanie (IT)

    Wildstylez (NL)

    Technoboy (IT)

    Headhunterz (NL)

    Noisecontrollers (NL)

    Frontliner (NL)

    Directed by MC DV8 (NL)


    3MS is a society of young free thinkers that want to preserve Earth by using our minds. We believe that the exploitation of Earths resources not only pollute the world we live in. We strongly believe that not the happy few, but all people should equally benefit from treasures of nature, while the balance with nature should be restored to a non-abusive and self regenerating level.

    We started of in the Early 90's as a hardcore internet community that used computer-science to bring capitalism on it's knees. Over the years we positively altered our strategy with the support of young intellectuals that started joining our cause. Within 2 decades we grew from a group of "cyber terrorist" into a serious beneficial organisation counting over 28 million active members on a global scale.

    The world has seen enough results from the old boys networks, the lobbyists and the political agendas that stimulate the power of money. Many of our members live and work their everyday life in the offices of governments, multinationals and NGO's. The rapid globalisation empowered us to bring the naked truth around the globe in no-time. Almost effortlessly spilling the dark secrets of governments, questioning the real agendas of multinationals and publishing facts that address the true nature of disasters.

    We are the new generation. A generation with a voice, a generation with a vision and a generation with a cause!

    Meet us on Twitter, meet us on Facebook, we are your neighbour, your brother, we are your friend, so what are you waiting for. Your future started just now!




  11. Oh holy crap!!!! Were you thinking that, too!!!!!!! WOW!!!! All these years, these are 2 of the silly little ideas I had in my head about certain episodes that I always just thought...... "Ehhhh....... I'm just over-thinking things. I'm trying to see some sub-plot there that isn't really there." This is so validating! LOL! Thanks!!!!! :whistling::notworthy:

  12. ...and I beg the forgiveness of the powers that be if this has asked before, but I'm gonna ask it anyway. If it has been, just point me to the thread in question and I'll read on.

    I actually paid attention to the beginning of Dead Letters- where Jordan has the nightmare involving Pennywise (I know its not him, but geeze, he's scary enough to be his twin). What is that dream supposed to represent- especially Frank walking down the never ending circular red staircase?

    Oh, did anyone catch the reflection of Jim (well, his watch I think) in glass during the conversation he has with Frank regarding whether or not the Group should put him on the case? Originally I thought it was the person sitting all the way in the back, or smoke from Frank's coffee, but it reflects whenever he moves... Or maybe I'm getting old in my young age and seeing things...

    Yeah, I've always wondered the same thing. (about the dream)

    So I'm watching Millennium for the first time. And it blew my mind, looking this episode up on Google, that something I thought was obvious when I watched it doesn't seem to be the common interpretation. The Onion AV Club retrospective doesn't mention it, and neither do any of the episode guides I've found. Then again, being new to the show, maybe people hashed this all out years ago?

    Anyway, I'm pretty sure that Jim Horn is a copycat killer, and that Frank never picks up on it, and Horn gets away with it scott free.

    * The first murder Frank investigates, at the dog pound, has no message left on the body, even though all the others do. He assumes he'll find one, but it never turns up. And then the next victim turns up, with the second part of a message - as if the killer skipped over the one at the dog pound. There's even a whole conversation at the beginning about how the other Millennium Group profilers don't think this was the same killer.

    * The killer has a scrapbook of all of his victims. The camera very clearly shows him page through it - it has all the victims except the dog catcher.

    * Horn's initial profile is of himself, not the killer. He also tells Frank gray hairs were found at the crime scene. The killer doesn't have gray hairs, but Buddy Cop does.

    Honestly, I was all "man this is so obvious" until the end of the episode came and the dude totally got away with it.

    Ok.....finally.....FINALLY...... If this has been brought up here before and Iv'e missed it or forgotten it during my exile I appologize, but OMG..... When I watched Dead Letters for the first time, I was SURE Jim Horne was either the killer, or a copycat..... like in X Files "Grotesque". Why in the world was this never dealt with? I was never sure if they meant to say that he WAS a killer and got away with it, or if I was totally off-base with my interpretation!

  13. Thanks for the recommendation. 2 DVD sets shouldn't cut into my gasoline funds too much! Make that 4, because I'm still looking for the first 2 seasons of Blake's 7.

    I'm liking your favorite listed Millennium episode too!

    "Long as I'm singin.......... my..............sooooooooooong!" :thumbsup:


    Thanks for that! Just so you know..... I waver between "Dog" and "Luminary". I changed it because I figured everyone was tired of me being "Luminary girl". LOL :rolleyes:

  14. It's been so long since I voted, I can't remember which one I voted for now! LOL I guess I'd have to say "Lamentation", which may be what I voted for the 1st time, but also, I'd have to vote for one that isn't on this pole. "Wide Open", which kept me awake all night when I first saw it! :pumpkin4:

  15. A huge welcome to you!!!!! I remember all the Y2K hysterics, too. I always said it was just the modern generation's version of "the sky is falling".

    Yes, what did you think of the episode "TEOTWAWKI"?

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