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My Resume'

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My Resume

1. My first job was working in an orange juice factory,

but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.

2. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack,

but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

3. After that, I tried to be a tailor,

but I just wasn't suited for it - mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

4. Next, I tried working in a muffler factory,

but that was too exhausting.

5. Then, I tried to be a chef

- figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

6. Next, I attempted to be a deli worker,

but no matter how I sliced it I couldn't cut the mustard.

7. My best job was a musician,

but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy..

8. I studied a long time to become a doctor,

but I didn't have any patience.

9. Next, was a job in a shoe factory.

I tried but I just didn't fit in.

10. I became a professional fisherman,

but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

11. I managed to get a good job

working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

12. So then I got a job in a workout center

but they said I wasn't fit for the job..

13. After many years of trying to find steady work,

I finally got a job as a historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks,

but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind..




"Time is too slow for those who wait; too swift for those who fear;

too long for  those who grieve; too short for those who rejoice.

But for those who love, time is eternity."

(Jane Fellowes)

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