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Only joking


Libby

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  • Elders (Admins)

Funny stuff that I've found elsewhere:

These are titles/authors that you won't find in your bookstore.

Injection moulding by Polly Styrene

Multiple injuries by Eileen Dover

Botany for dummies by Teresa Green

The art of taxation by Claude Back

Crossing rivers by Bridget Now

Antique cooking utensils by Colin Der

Making things last by Peter Doubt

Modern Fashion by Seymour Nix

The Pile in the Road by G. G. Dunnet

Coming Down! by Lucy Lastick

The nail on the Banister by R. Stornoway

Pussycat's Revenge by Claude Balls

Putty In His Hands, by Lynne C. Doyle

Get Rich Quick! by Robin Banks

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Libby

"Humans need fantasy to be human. To be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape." Terry Pratchett

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Many years ago (and probaby still) there was a series of really- bad- jokes- that could be found on popsicle sticks. You would start with the beginning of the joke on the visable part of the stick, and would have to eat the popsicle to find out what the answers were.. some of them were

What did the rock climber name his son??

Cliff

What did the lawyer name their daughter?

Sue.

What did the waterskier name their sons

Skip, and Bob.

whats green and goes Slam Slam Slam Slam??

A 4 door Pickle!

Whats gray and is in a bottle?

Liquid elephant.

Who made up Elephant jokes?

The elephants are still looking for him.

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We also used to get real neat toys in Cracker Jack boxes too, but now they're somewhat cheap, like a sticker, Oh well.

DarleneSignaturePic1.jpg

"Time is too slow for those who wait; too swift for those who fear;

too long for  those who grieve; too short for those who rejoice.

But for those who love, time is eternity."

(Jane Fellowes)

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were we smarter as kids back then? I mean, they found out that all of those toy guns, mini ballarinas charms that were in craker jacks were made with lead and painted with cadmium- (both not good) but we didn't chew on them, and thats the reason why you only find something like stickers and the tattoos (though now they are banned because of the drug culture) in the boxes. I look at the Happy meal toys and they come right out and say "choking hazard, not for kids 3 and under- Like, the people who make this stuff are aware that its for YOUNG kids, - by the time the kid is in kindergarden, do they really want a happy meal? nooo. they want the full meal, not just 10 french fries in the box...

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You're right, it doesn't make any sense because it is the little tikes that want a Happy Meal, not the older kids.

DarleneSignaturePic1.jpg

"Time is too slow for those who wait; too swift for those who fear;

too long for  those who grieve; too short for those who rejoice.

But for those who love, time is eternity."

(Jane Fellowes)

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  • Elders (Admins)

This is from another forum. A lovely person posted that on her way to work the previous evening (nightshift) she spotted which she described as a small, fluffy bundle on the top of a wall, that didn't react to her passing by. She didn't have time to check it out then, but did so after her shift, and saw it was a dead cat. She asked people on the forum for advice because she didn't want to leave it there for a fox or rat to get it (she's an animal lover) and decided to go back and get the cat and take it to the vet who she takes her own animals to. Most vets will scan an animal for a microchip, so the owners could be contacted; or if there wasn't a microchip, the vets could dispose of the remains.

So she donned heavy gloves, put the cat in a bin bag, and then took the poor thing to the vet and left it with the receptionist for the vet to later take a look at it.

A couple of hours later, the vet phoned her with the results of the examination:

It was a toy cat.

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(Presumably it was a young child's toy that had been dropped and somebody had put it on the wall in the hope that it would be seen by a parent desparate to find it for their distraught little one.)

Libby

"Humans need fantasy to be human. To be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape." Terry Pratchett

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Wow, it amazes me that she picked it up and got to see it up close, and never noticed it was a toy. Must have been a super realistic looking toy.

DarleneSignaturePic1.jpg

"Time is too slow for those who wait; too swift for those who fear;

too long for  those who grieve; too short for those who rejoice.

But for those who love, time is eternity."

(Jane Fellowes)

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