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The Armageddon Report

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Guest SouthernCelt

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Guest SouthernCelt

If newsrooms prepared stories about an impending Armageddon (instead of stocking up on AA batteries and running for the hills) here's what the headlines might say:

USA Today: We're dead

The Wall Street Journal: Dow plummets as world ends

National Enquirer: O.J. and Nicole together again

Playboy: Girls of the Apocalypse

Microsoft Systems Journal: Apple loses market share

Victoria's Secret Catalog: Our final sale

Discover Magazine: How will the extinction of all life as we know it affect the way we view the cosmos?

TV Guide: Death and damnation: Nielsen ratings soar

Ladies Home Journal: Lose 10 lbs. by Judgment Day with our new 'Armageddon' diet!

Inc. magazine: 10 ways you can profit from the end of the world

Microsoft's website: If you didn't experience the Rapture, download software patch RAPT777.exe (My favorite by far!)

Sports Illustrated: Game over

Wired: The last new thing

Rolling Stone:The Grateful Dead reunion tour

Readers Digest: 'Bye

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Guest SouthernCelt
Heres a few others:

Playgirl: Frank Black exposes the real gift.

People: Sexiest man alive: Grim Reaper

Home and Garden: Beelzebub opens up his home

Good ones, Joe. Of course you realize you've now started a new game...this topic may go on forever...

To wit:

NY Times: Bush White House fails to prevent Great Tribulation

Washington Post: ACLU sues God: Minorities not adequately represented in Rapture

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Guest SouthernCelt

I told ya you'd start something:

Inside EPA (insider newsletter): Administrator blames increased smoke and brimstone odor on increased fossil fuel use; vows swift action on control initiative.

Cryptomundo (web site): New species observed worldwide -- are they previously undetected fauna or the demonic spawn of Satan?

NASA Today (web site): World wide trumpet sound blamed on reentry of space debris from the Gabriel I early warning system satellite

At the Old Man's Knee (Millennium Group member newsletter): Roosters crow. Owls finally agree -- the time is here

Coast-to-Coast AM web site: Tomorrow night's guest will be Seymore "Spooky" Haints who will discuss the recent decrease in the incident of EVPs in cemetaries. Mr. Haints does report that the few recordings made recently seem to be those of an unusual sound and not words. "It sort of sounds like a 'Bronx cheer'," Mr. Haints commented.

Fox network TV ad: At 8 next Tuesday, "When Demons Attack." All authentic and candid video, no reenactments.

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